Why is today “hump day”?
I would assume because it’s the middle of the week. After today, it’s all down hill? Over the hump of the middle of the week?
I don’t like to refer to it as “hump day” because I admit I then think of things like “dry hump” and Wednesday suddenly seems all awkward and gawky like two teenagers making out in the back of a old cabriolet. But I digress …
This week is much of the same status quo of lately. Busy, tiring, feeling like I’m doing an awful lot, but not really accomplishing much of everything. Sort of like trying to back your car up an icy road … you can press the gas down as hard as you want, but you’re still not going anywhere.
This brings to mind a conversation I had with my sister the other night as we made dinner. She was making this really good black bean salsa from a recipe her friend gave her. And I had some avocados so I made some guacamole to eat with her salsa. But I also started washing the dishes as I went which I labeled “multitasking”. And she told me she doesn’t like to multitask because she gets too distracted from doing the one thing she needs to do, so she just does one thing and does it well.
And while I did finish the guacamole (because I wanted to eat it!), I only got halfway through the dishes and realized that maybe my need to multitask is not very good for me. I couldn’t even complete a simple task like washing dishes. Although in fairness, there was a lot of dishes.
This same vein of thinking came up this week in an e-mail conversation with my boyfriend about being frustrated sometimes as a utility player on our rugby team. Through a different conversation I realized that last fall, I played 14 of the 15 positions on the field.
And he asked me what position I really wanted to play and that I should just tell my coach that position, so I could concentrate on it. And I realized that I don’t know. And I said:
“I think I have become so average at everything, that I’m no longer good at any one thing.”
And then I realized that this statement is my current Truth in everything. I’m juggling so many things at once and trying to keep them all up in the air, but I’m not actually juggling any one of them very well with good form or rhythm or whatever the hell it is that helps you juggle.
I have, through my own actions, become a multitasker who isn’t very good at any one task in every aspect of my life. Personal life, work life, family life, financial life, rugby life, social life. And my mind is constantly reeling and adding new things to the collection of things to juggle.
Realizing a Truth is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because knowledge is power … I now know what the challenge is. And a curse, because obviously this is not working for me but how do you fix something that isn’t working if what isn’t working is you?
See my dilemma here folks.
For instance, right now our team is trying to get organized for spring and for our challenge match. But now it seems like we have to pull teeth to just get people to commit. It’s very frustrating when there is the talk of commitment, but not the walk. Even for the simplest of things. And it’s very tiring to be the person reminding, asking, begging everyone to walk. Because how am I supposed to do my walking to?
I’m not trying to whine. But wouldn’t it be fantastically great if everyone who said they would do something actually did it? And were happy to do it? And then you could sit down, relax and have a damn beer because you no longer knew what it felt like to be constantly stressed out. And because the sum of all of us really is greater than our individual parts. You know, kind of like a rugby team.